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The Friend Funk…and a fix or two

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It happens, I would say, about four or five times a year– regularly enough for me to recognize when I’m in the middle of it, but apparently not enough to try and head it off, if there’s even a way to do that. Does this happen to you? I call it the Friend Funk: where you get into this rut of “I’m the friend that has to initiate things! Every time!” coupled with friends whose schedules are brimming with activities…that don’t include you. And of course, rather than being an adult about it or letting your rational mind control things, you spiral into this mood that peaks with you commenting to your husband that you have absolutely no friends and that no one else has ever had or will ever had this problem. Life, you know, can be simply intolerable.

No, just me? That’s cool. I sort of knew I was crazy already. At any rate (and to make this post much cheerier than if I had written it while I was actually in the middle of The Funk), it has passed. This is likely due in large part to a friend-tervention, if you will (and I hope you will, because I do love a portmanteau), that took place over a pizza and some gelato after another taxing week of the Journey Through Perpetual Internship. Such a simple fix for a made-up problem, and it’s always a bonus to have more gelato in my life.

Also bringing a smile to my face? Two hand-me-down bikes, which enabled me and GP to tool around the neighborhood this weekend, culminating in a ride down to a local farmers’ market and a much-needed adjustment to my seat (sits bones, anyone?). So far, I’m liking a little recreational biking much more than I’ve ever enjoyed running– it seems more functional, more mode-of-transport-y. We’ll see if it sticks. (Also, I look ravishing in a helmet. Doesn’t everyone?) Other reasons to grin this week: dinner with friends tomorrow (including the Funk-buster herself!), minor league baseball with parents on Wednesday, and a downtown concert this weekend.

Yeah, Monday is lame, but it’s behind us now. What’s getting you through this week, friends?

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About Megan

I read, I write, I drink wine while watching way too much tv. Let's be friends.

5 responses »

  1. I totally get what you’re saying. There’s also maybe one or two times a year that I go through this phase when I really start to analyze my friends. Has he/she always been there for me? Are they there for me now? Do I even matter to him/her? It’s kind of mean and harsh but I often feel like my life gets somewhat boggled down with bad friends- friends who may have started out as fun and exciting and good to have around. But then they ended up being in it all for selfish reasons.

    It takes me a while to realize it, but when I do it’s a relief to finally say to myself, “I don’t think that person is good to have in my life anymore.” It makes me feel similar to what you described, like I don’t have any friends ever. But, then it also helps you to realize who has always been there. 🙂

    Reply
    • Yay, I’m not the only one! It does help to have times where you can really evaluate the friendships that you have, and think about which matter most to you, and which one or both of you has outgrown. While this phase, for me, usually begins in a pretty irrational place (i.e., “I have no friends! Everyone sucks!”), I’m usually able to bring it around to the more reasonable mindset that allows me to examine things clearly and value the friends that I do have even more.

      Reply
  2. hi megan! can you email me when you get a chance? it’s about jess loolu and her piglet! 🙂 alicewonderland0 at gmail. thanks!!

    Reply
  3. you are not alone with the funk! do you see how long email threads can get while just trying to set up a mutual get-together date?!

    Reply
    • Ha! So true. And most of the time, it’s not like there is any actual *reason* not to get together. (Having said that, when is Groperfest 2.0? I vote before fall semester begins. Go!)

      Reply

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