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The Dude on the Couch

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Oh, Valentine’s Day. I feel like there is something of a spectrum of the way people feel about Valentine’s Day, but people seem to cluster on either end, either declaring that they absolutely hate it or totally love it. Personally, I’ve never had a tremendous issue with it– I like that there’s a special day when you tell people you care about how much they mean to you (should there be a comma in there somewhere?), even if it is mostly made up by greeting card companies. Granted, I am a sap, and completely susceptible to marketing ploys of all sorts, but I can get behind the sentiments behind the celebrations. On the other hand, it seems sort of disgusting that so much of it is obligatory– a dozen roses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and Jan Seymour-designed jewelry? No thanks. I’m happy with the daffodils, and the fact that my husband just rewound the DVR to show me a commercial where dogs and cats are driving cars in a parking lot. Last year around Valentine’s Day, Dooce posted something of a meme about her husband, and I think today is as good a day as any to trot out my own version.

What are your middle names?
Mine is Elise, and GP’s is Peter. His mom once told me a story about how, as a youngster, he wanted to go by his middle name (as his father does). But when she told him that he’d have to learn to spell it, he was like, “The hell with that.”

How long have you been together?
We met/started dating in September of 2006…so, what is that? Three and a half years? It seems simultaneously longer and shorter.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Well. We exchanged emails for a good 36 hours before we met…so, about 36 hours?

Who asked whom out?
Look. We met through the Magic of the Internet, and if you want to get technical about it, he was the poster and I was the responder. Craigslist, it turns out, is a good place to find things like, housing, furniture…and a spouse. I think the fact that we were both obviously looking for someone to date cut out a lot of the “Will we? Won’t we?” b.s. that hangs around a lot of new relationships. We had no idea whether we would actually like each other once we got more familiar, but I think that the way in which our relationship began helped us cut through a good bit of the mess.

How old are each of you?
I’m 26, GP is 28.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
My brother lives about 15 minutes from us, and his sister lives across the country. (Oh, and my stepsister lives in San Diego.) So, unsurprisingly, we see my brother much more.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I wouldn’t say that this is a constant source of tension between us, but it certainly came out a good bit when we were planning the wedding: we have different ideas about what degree of closeness we want, both individually and as a couple, with our families. GP lives thousands of miles from 99% of his family members, whereas my entire immediate family lives within driving distance. At the same time, he has expectations that our parents will be Best Friends, and I don’t think of that as a priority. This has been the topic of many a…discussion, but we haven’t had to overcome very much in terms of “Oh God, we’re completely different people!”

Did you go to the same school?
Nope. Not at the same time anyway. (I’m looking at you, grad school.)

Are you from the same home town?
No. I’m a California girl, and he’s quite the mid-Hudson New Yorker. That means he does charming things like dropping the “t” from the word “mountain.” Yes, charming…we’ll go with that.

Who is smarter?
I don’t think we bother to compete here– our intellectual interests and strengths are pretty different. He did do better on his SATs than I did, though– a 1420 to my 1400.

Who is the most sensitive?
Um, me. Crying is pretty much one of my hobbies.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
It really depends– we’re homebodies, so takeout/delivery is usually preferable. We do have our favorite local sushi and Italian restaurants, but I think now is the time to confess that we have a weak spot for the very-shameful Chili’s.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Australia.

Who has the craziest exes?
Probably GP, as I have definitely been The Crazy in past relationships. Luckily, though, there is very little intrusion by exes into our lives, literal or otherwise.

Who has the worst temper?
Me. I feel all the feelings, and generally have to put more of an effort into keeping my shit together. GP, however, loves himself a Principled Argument…but I guess that’s not really an issue of temper.

Who does the cooking?
Me. I love to cook, friends.

Who is the neat-freak?
We each have our Things That Drive Us Crazy in terms of neatness. For him, it’s that I leave my shoes in the living room (I just kick them off when I come in), and for me, it’s his “spit cup,” into which he spits his sunflower seed shells. We’re a charming pair.

Who is more stubborn?
Remember when I mentioned those Principled Arguments? This is a man who, when I pointed out how stubborn he is during one of our wedding-related heated arguments, asked me to detail the ways in which he was stubborn. “Uh, hello? Like right now!”

Who hogs the bed?
Me…but I can’t help it! I need to be positioned just right in order to fall asleep. Unfortunately for those sharing the bed with me (you know, GP and the cat), it is rarely the same position from night to night.

Who wakes up earlier?
Unlike some people who can sleep happily into midmorning with their head in a little pillow-sandwich, I have to get up early to head to the internship.

Where was your first date?
We met at a bocce ball restaurant, then made our way to a pizza place. The rest of our marathon first date played out in a local park (I like to talk, y’all).

Who is more jealous?
Hm. GP? I guess.

How long did it take to get serious?
About 45 minutes or so. Really, things escalated pretty quickly– we went from seeing each other three or four times a week to every day within about a month and a half. We moved in together less than six months into our relationship.

Who eats more?
GP, but I can give him a run for his money in dairy-containing things. I have no restraint when it comes to cheese, ice cream, etc.

Who does the laundry?
Whoever has the fewest pairs of clean underwear at any given time. He’s not the best at folding and putting things away, so I don’t mind doing it if it means wrinkle-free shirts.

Who’s better with the computer?
The man has “engineer” in his job title (which is a funny joke between the two of us). He knows how to build Actual Websites. And he has the patience to explain why just smashing the computer and getting a new one isn’t always the best best solution.

Who drives when you are together?
He does. He claims that I make him nervous when I drive, and I have no interest in learning to drive stick (which his car is)– how would I be able to nap on long drives if I was the driver?

If you feel so moved, feel free to borrow this meme for your own blog purposes, or leave your responses in the comments! Also, Happy Valentine’s Day…may your lives be filled with love every single day of the year.

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About Megan

I read, I write, I drink wine while watching way too much tv. Let's be friends.

One response »

  1. I feel like I just got to know both of you a LOT better through this post!I hope your Valentine's Day was a good first one as husband and wife!

    Reply

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