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Entrenched, or A Story of My Saturday

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It would seem that I am incapable of breaking my “an entire week behind the SNL episode that she’s recapping” habit, yet I submit to you that it is not true! Sure, today is the Saturday following the last new airing of SNL (and tonight will be yet another live show– Lorne Michaels, why do you do this to me?), but I am thinking that we’re just going to power right through this, ok? Today is mostly devoted to watching college basketball, but I’ve got the DVR set up to capture my Bruins’ eventual Pac-10 tournament win, and am ready to go on with the recapping! Oh, and I have to go to work today for about two hours, which is officially The Lame. Because this Conference-USA game is boooring (come on Tulsa, let’s admit that you don’t have a snowball’s chance against Memphis and be done with it), I am headed to The Tivo Lair for some good old sketch comedy! (And probably the new episode of Whose Wedding is it Anyway?, but we will not be recapping that, mmkay?)

Ok, this week we have Amy Adams and Vampire weekend. Let the recapping begin! (I also just narrowly missed dropping the remote into my cup of tea, which is easier to do than you might thing, and would probably have led to the demise of my relationship. Phew.) Our cold open is Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton, approving an “unfair and deceptive message.” Could it be a red phone parody? Probably. (And oh, P.S., that is a ridiculously fear-mongering ad, one that I would have thought HC was above. I have a hard time watching it all the way through without some sort of outburst. And I really like her!) Since I’m bad at being prompt with the relaying of weekly hilarity, I’ve seen most of this sketch on clip shows and whatnot– pretty solid. Amy Poehler can do little to no wrong.

I must say before I watch the monologue, I have loved Amy Adams since Drop Dead Gorgeous, which I would watch just about every day on Starz! after school during my junior year of high school. Starz! likes to show the same movies, at the same time, for at least a month at a time. I now own that dvd, and can recite every line of dialogue, with varying degrees of success with a Minnesotan accent. Okay, so…cute dress, but I have a feeling that it’s actually more interesting than it films. Kristen Wiig doesn’t really look that similar to AA, so let’s move on. Damn! We’re back into the place where allll SNL monologues are sung. I do not like this place, but at least Amy Adams is a decent singer (did we not see her sing at the Oscars? Pretty cute.)

ABC Family, even “less offensive” than regular ABC. (Although let me please note that I am regularly offended by most facets of Seventh Heaven. Noted.) “Mirror Image,” there are twins who pretend to be one person, apparently because they are horribly lazy. Sounds like a good plan to me…but a potentially lame sketch. Also, one of the twins is fat, which I guess is a wrench in their plans. The acting here is actually slightly better than on most ABC Family shows. Sorry, ABC Family! I still love your 25 days of Christmas!

Nest week: Jonah Hill and Janet Jackson. Nice. I look forward to recapping this within the next 24 hours! Really. Oh, and can someone tell me if it would be foolish to go see Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day? I do like me some Frances McDormand!

A vampy Amy Adams leads us into the next sketch, in which she is a therapist to Amy Poehler and Will Forte. Amy P. is pretty slouchy, and also more than a tad foreign. Would couples therapy be fun, or an endless tedium of “how do you feel about that?”s? Could it be any worse than watching this? We get it, Amy Poehler, you’re good at this Bulgarian (?) accent. Very nice. Amy Adams, that’s quite the necklace. And Will Forte, nice…merino sweater? Whatever.

SNL Digital Short! Rain falls, and someone pours a drink, which is unfair because, hello? It’s not even 10am here! This is why the recaps should be closer to “live.” Andy Samberg looks like something out of American Psycho, singing what sounds like it could be a Flight of the Conchords song. Andy Samberg is a superhero, in a pretty baggy suit, singing this song…and getting beaten up by a mugger. For fun, I counted the times that Jason Sudeikis punches him– it’s 54. Then he has a mailbox thrown at him, and is hit once with a 2×4 for effect.

Faux Bravo commercial, “the newest makeover show.” This better be that Project Runway sketch that I’ve been hearing about and trying not to watch! Amy Poehler is an awesome Christian Siriano, saying “hot tranny mess” within the first thirty seconds. Awesome! I wish that Fierce: The Hot Mess Make-Over Show were real! The sifting through the “fashion victim’s” clothes reminds me of a certain seen-by-everyone (right? Because it’s pretty great) YouTube phenomenon. I wonder how hard that Christian wig was to make. Also, would it not be wonderful if the actual Christian (or Tim Gunn!) were to show up?

Vampire Weekend. They are pretty cute, and I enjoy their music. Thanks, SNL, for keeping me hip despite my sometimes-agoraphobic tendencies.

Weekend Update! I found out in the past week that Seth Myers is now the show’s head writer, which is not surprising, but did make me feel a little pang of…pride? Because I really enjoy Seth Myers. Okay, moving on. We learn that Hillary Clinton is not a monster, GWB is accepting donations for a library (in his name? Let’s not get me started), “Hey Hillary, How are you going to be Ready On Day One if it takes you thirty-one primaries to get warmed up?,” Charlie Crist is a rumored McCain running-mate? If she doesn’t know about it already, a certain friend of mine will be crazy mad about this– she spent the year after her college graduation in Florida campaigning for one of Crist’s opponents. Clearly, the opponent lost, and she is now in law school, forever hating Charlie Crist. Bwah ha! Senator Tim Calhoun. Always so strange, thanks, Will Forte. John McCain is old, German soldiers are fat, and there’s a robot/water cannon that chases away drug dealers from a bar in Atlanta. Can I please go see this robot during my upcoming Trip To The South? Amy Poehler manages to say the words “elf defense” with a straight face when talking about a tiny gun, and pops open one of those champagne-confetti things. Well, played, Amy P. The rest? Unremarkable, and I’m guessing not the most exciting to read.

Fallen Ballerina Doll Amy Adams creepily segues us into a traffic school sketch. Anyone ever been to traffic school? It sounds remarkably terrible. Ooh, Penelope! Love. I also believe that Amy Adams could be a pretty convincing second grade teacher, if the situation demanded– traffic school seems pretty similar to elementary school, if SNL is to be trusted.

Amy Adams’ sideswept hair welcomes us to a medical sketch, or an ad for Dr. Uncle Jimmy’s Smokehouse and Outpatient Surgical Facility on Route 13! Will Forte, as a modified, Buffalo-plaid-clad Col. Sanders, explains both his “medical” training and menu. Guess I won’t be eating lunch anytime soon… And Amy Adams doesn’t look nearly as emaciated or corpse-like as Ellen Pompeo! Ew. Grey’s and I have been on a break since the whole George/Izzie “love” thing began, because I am not a fan of just-plain-terrible writing.

Dangerously-small-dress wearing AA fades to reveal Jason Sudeikis as Roger Clemens, who I am pretty sure can decapitate a man with his bare hands, maybe even only one of said hands. Roger welcomes us, with his massively veiny arms and a play called, “Guess What, Dingbats? Steroids ARE Good For Baseball.” This play is much more coherent than anything I imagine that would come out of Clemens’ ‘roid-addled mind. And I? Happen to like stats geeks, thankyouverymuch.

Kenan Thompson is…Tookie Styles? I have no idea. It’s no good. Bleep-bloop.

Vampire Weekend, I will not fast-forward through you. Love!

Celebrations– the perfect venue for a Ladies Night, and Amy A. is sporting her good old Drop Dead Gorgeous hair, which I assure you is horrifying. They order Chardonnay and Pinot Grigio…and, is this even satire? Sometimes the lamer of the ladies are only into terrible, wimpy wines– although, for the purposes of the sketch, could we not have included White Zinfandel or Arbor Mist? There’s a dance routine to “Umbrella,” which I still love to listen to, and is further proof that I am, in fact, pretty lame.

To conclude…I would like to have hair like Amy Adams. And why are there so many street-fighting/street-dancing movies? Who sees them? Are these the same people who went to see 10,000 BC? I don’t think I want to know. Amy Adams’ hair person, call me!

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About Megan

I read, I write, I drink wine while watching way too much tv. Let's be friends.

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