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Return of SNL!

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I decided to do a Tivo “live”-blog of the first Saturday Night Live after the end of the writer’s strike. I figured that since I was watching it and commenting aloud, maybe the internet would enjoy the commentary as well. It may well become a regular feature, so any and all feedback is welcome, but please be constructive!

Cold open: CNN Democratic Debate sketch pretty accurately captures everyone’s Obamania…I will admit that I’m part of it. Yeah, shut up.

Ahhh! Tina Fey! I love just about everything about her, including her cute little black dress. Good job calling it “aught-seven.” (Totally something I do– I’m hoping it will catch on) Hitting her with the boom microphone is a little silly, since there probably isn’t a writer holding it. I suppose, however, that when there were no writers, the crew was out of work as well. Ok then, we’re glad everyone’s back!
Oh! Steve Martin shows up, as he is wont to do. GP says, “Isn’t he, like, 80?” He probably is. Let’s see…he’s this old. Hey, Steve Martin, don’t bring up the Spanx. Sometimes they’re necessary! I like the “I can do it!” routine, mostly because of my deep-seated Tina Fey love, which you may remember from a couple sentences ago.

Fake commercial for once-a-year period birth control (Seasonale parody). Is that Katie Holmes? Is that Fergie? Who is that girl? Haha, periods are awful. I like that they kept the hot pink accents throughout the horrifying period montage.

Rock of Love parody…is this really going to be more ridiculous than the actual Rock of Love? Woo! Every rose does have its thorn. GP loves Kristen Wiig, and there’s my lady Tina Fey, nearly unrecognizable in a blonde wig and huge lips. Amy Poehler as a one-legged suitorette, reprising the role from a previous…Rock of Love(?) parody. That other girl looks more like Fergie than Katie Holmes, on second thought, and she’s wearing a cross, which is pretty typical of some of the Rock of Love ladies. Some of them do love baby Jesus! I enjoy Jason Sudeikis, but at times his mannerisms remind me of SNL-era Will Ferrell, but it may just be because he plays George W., too. This sketch went on for about 90 seconds more than it needed to.

A message for old people, being confused and scared at today’s movies because they don’t know any of the actors in them—these kids nowadays! The man’s wife has put his grandsons in contemporary movies, and the effect is marginally funny. Andy Samberg and Bill Heder are the grandsons, decoding the language for grandpa and waving as they march across scenes of There Will Be Blood and others. The Transforming Robots (instead of Transformers)—love it! That’s definitely a “grandparent” way to describe it. Faces of the grandsons are superimposed onto the dvd covers, with hilarity that is equal to the general humor of superimposition (about a 3, out of 10, depending on context). You can find these dvds at the store! Old people are funny, this sketch made me chuckle a couple times.

“What’s That Bitch Talking About?” game show. The contestants are Tina Fey playing a person who looks like Tina Fey (and is an “editorial assistant,” so…she’s a writer playing a lower-level writer?) and Bill Heder, for the prize of a “canary yellow Mazda Protégé.” The first challenge is Amy Poehler on a cell phone, we hear only one side of the conversation…yeah, this is pretty lame. First point goes to Tina. Mystery woman shouting in a Southern accent (this woman may actually be a bitch, technically)…point to Tina, again. The answers are very detailed. Kristen Wiig saying, “Okay, okay, okay…” into a phone at regular intervals…Tina wins again! Bill Heder wins the consolation prize, the home game—with Ann Coulter, the Queen, Whitney Houston, and that idiotic Miss Teen USA chick who doesn’t know shit about maps. Tina goes to the bonus round, answering, “Who does that bitch think she is?” The queen of Sheba, my dad, and Heidi freakin’ Klum win Tina the Protégé and a free gallon of gasoline. Pretty solid, as it relied on some good variations for laughs, rather than trying to hit the same spot over and over.

Carrie Underwood. Skip. I like her and all (cute dress for “the box social,” says GP), but this is generally what I do during musical guests. Sorry, musical guests.

Weekend Update! Lead story is the NYT/John McCain scandal. (I just realized that I can’t transcribe each joke, so you’re stuck with what makes me laugh, sorry) Fidel Castro resigns—“quitter.” Seth Myers, can we go out for French toast sometime? The Devil Frog—as terrifying as it sounds? Is that thing even real? Mike Huckabee shows up to explain why he’s still hanging around the race, and explains that he doesn’t believe in “mathematical impossibility,” just like he doesn’t believe in “evolution,” “homosexuality,” and “gravity.” Seth clears things up…wouldn’t it be great if Huckabee dropped out of the race on SNL? But it’s not gonna happen. Just when is he going to drop out of the race with “grace and class”? Huckabee overstays his welcome, again. I see the word “kitten” and am intrigued. It pays off! Hip-hop kitten! Mattew McCounaghey promotes D&G fragrance, shirtless. I never really saw why he was attractive, he just seems so grubby. Women’s News with Tina Fey—it’s a great time to be a lady in America! LiLo does NY magazine, looks different and old; more strokes are happening to older women; Kirstie Alley has “not” regained the weight she lost on Jenny Craig. She’s a Scientologist? Also, Hillary Clinton is running for the presidential nomination…and yet women vote for Barack because Oprah told them to. I have to say, I love Bill and Hillary, and yet I voted for Obama. I hope that Hillary ends up being the vice-president, though. Bitches doget stuff done! Weekend Update, I think I’ve missed you most of all. Also, I think that this is where the writing really shines.

NBC “commercial,” Celebrity Apprentice, another Celebrity Apprentice. Jaleel White went to UCLA! Awesome. There’s that girl again! Also, “dingle-dangle” is a funny way to talk about anatomy, and Rachael Ray is annoying, but not that annoying. Another Celebrity Apprentice with marginal “celebrities,” and even another one with the Question Mark Guy and the old dude from the Six Flags commercials.

Drunk bridesmaid gives a teary toast at a wedding reception, chugs champagne. Best man is Midwestern and shouty (Jason Sudeikis sounding like Will Ferrell’s Harry Caray, later seeming sort of like Chris Farley in his timing and delivery), and I know it’s a parody, but it’s as uncomfortable as I imagine some receptions must be. I am tired of this sketch already, and its only been about a minute. If I were watching this live, this would be the point at which I decide to go to bed.

“Sick of the airport?” Virgania Horsen’s Hot Air Balloon Rides, where you get to be alone in a balloon with this strange woman (whose name I thought was “vagina,” and had to rewind to make sure that I was hearing/spelling it properly). Lame. The first week back from the strike, and we get this? If you’re going to throw me a low-production-value commercial parody, at least make it as good as the “Marble Columns” one with Scarlett Johansson (that I wish I could link to, but seems to have disappeared).

“Food Network—porn for fat people.” Two characters from There Will Be Blood (played by Bill Heder and Amy Poehler), talking about milkshakes. I think this will be funnier if I had seen the movie…but we’ll see. They drink a milkshake with a huge straw. It’s not really even as funny as it sounds. The guy from No Country for Old Men joins them as a special guest, and “Daniel Day-Lewis” (Bill Heder) freaks out and repeats some lines that I assume are from the movie. Lame. This is why I Tivo SNL, see? Bleep bloop.

Fake movie preview.* Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are two women who (I will assume) ultimately become friends despite their differences, one of them is pregnant, and I would totally go see this movie if it were real. It couldn’t be any stupider than Knocked Up, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. The movie, by the way, is called Baby Mama. Wait, is this real? It’s followed by a regular commercial. This is really confusing.

Carrie Underwood again. She is wearing, as far as I can tell, a vest, jeans, and over-the-knee boots. She’s also wearing enormous hoop earrings and a leather cuff that has to be 6 inches wide. It’s pretty fug. I do, however, kind of dig the song because it has fiddle, and I’m ok with that.

Lady Business, a parody of all the Pink Jungle Cashmere Mafia business. Man, I miss Sex and the City. This is why I’m nervous about the SATC movie: it’s become such a caricature of itself, especially since they started to syndicate it and there began to be “What Sex and the City Character are you?” applications on Facebook and whatnot. I think it’s a really well-written show with a lot of heart (it’s made me cry, even upon repeat viewings of the same episodes), but I’m afraid that the freshness that made it so special and of-its-time will have worn off by the time it hits theaters.

Don Pardo is 90! This is insane. That cake is insane. Everyone seems very exuberant and happy to be back in Studio 8H.

Overall, a solid B. Nothing made me scream with laughter, but I watched every sketch all the way through. With Tivo, it’s pretty tempting to just be like, “see ya!” so I feel like SNL worked it out. Welcome back, friends!

P.S. They’re bringing quarterlife to actual tv? Interesting. Having never seen it, please advise. Is it worth my time?

P.P.S. Casey Wilson, you’re welcome. I read just about every article that came up when I googled you. You are quite funny, and I’m sorry that I said you look like Fergie.

* Upon review, it turns out this movie is real. I apologize—I was really only paying about 40% attention when I first saw it. I am definitely going to see this, mostly because of my residual guilt at not voting for Hillary Clinton, as well as my deep and abiding love for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I will only be a little disappointed when it turns out to be pretty bad.

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About Megan

I read, I write, I drink wine while watching way too much tv. Let's be friends.

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